Since YouTube won't share with you the trailor to the new Transformers flick coming out next year, I'll show you how much excitement I'm having pretending to be the water flea...by the way, this job has awarded me with great nicknames.

This is the view shot from my helmetcam -- that's not a wave, it's a wake from our little boat...pretty big one, too.

Here's me trying the stunt...I didn't quite make it that time.

here's me sinking at the end of the day.

The only nice thing is that we're practicing in a lagoon, not in the Pacific Ocean...wakeboarding, I've learned, is hard enough when you just have the wake to deal with, let alone the waves of the ocean. Luckily, I trained in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, so I've grown accustomed to a lot of water hitting me in the face.

This particular episode, if we ever complete the stunt, will most likely air in the fall on Animal Planet. If we don't complete the stunt, we won't air...NO PRESSURE, TJ!

Remember I said my first job was for the show, Chasing Nature? In the show, a team of engineers tries to design a human prosthetic that allows it to accomplish an amazing feat of nature that only an animal can do -- then they have a stunt person test it. For example, the last stunt woman got to hang glide off a cliff wearing talons on her feet, and try to pick up a fish from the water.

All they told me is, "you need to know how to do something like wakeboarding" which, as you remember, I learned. I get my assignment today and I'm all psyched to be some kind of flying fish or shark or something, and they tell me "you're going to simulate the water headbutting skill of the Daphnia Ambigua.

Ambigua is what they were being when they said I would be wakeboarding. These Cal-Tech geniouses have me wakeboarding ON MY HEAD. Now I'm wondering about this whole Chasing Nature idea. I mean, I understand a human saying "wow, it'd be cool to fly like a hawk or run like a cheetah" But I've honestly never heard any human utter the phrase "man, I'd love to headbutt my way across the Pacific like a WATER FLEA"

If I could choose any superpower in the world, it would definitely lie between freezing time and holding a bathroom urge for a superhuman amount of time...but surfing across water on my head? Not up there, guys. 

Just a quick post, since I've only been in Honolulu for 3 hours...HAWAII IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN NEW ENGLAND. Sorry, New Englanders, but how much rain can one take? New England is the new Seattle...which says nothing for your weather, but hey, good coffee!

We're en-route to Jack's home outside of Honolulu...I forgot how convenient it is to drive on the islands...it would take about 10 minutes to cut through the island, but oops, that would probably land us in a volcano, so we have to drive around in a big circle to get to Chez Jack. But I can't complain...I'm in Oahu!

This is what it looks like when you've been at sea for weeks and you finally approach Cape Cod. We got there last night and Devon actually kissed the beach when we finally got to it. The Inn where we stayed threw us a huge party and we ate lots of fish and drank lots of Sam Adams.

The Westender gets to take a final break before we prep. her for the haul to Hawaii on a giant freighter that looks like it could carry a supertanker.

 After we party in Cape Cod a little more, Devon is going to look for work in the civil engineering world (heh Chau, who is a mechanical engineer always says the difference between a civil-e and a mech-e is that mech-e's build weapons and civil-e's build targets.) I'm a pyro-e. I build fires.

Chau is going back to school to get his Masters of the Universe degree (MBA actually) and then back up the Yukon because he's nuts and he likes it there...he's gonna work on some project involving the pipeline expansion.

Jack is going back to Hawaii to work on a new area of land that's been roped off as a nature preserve (she's a botany-type) and I'm going with her because my first job on the network is in Hawaii!! So I guess I have to really work those wakeboard skills.

My battlebots are going into the Westender Museaum of Destructable Art and the jet ski is going to our lovely new friends in Cape Cod who have paid for it in beer and hospitality.

I feel like I should roll credits here for a wonderful trip around the world. I can't believe we survived each other's company for ten months!!

Will Canada take the world cup? Hmmm, lets see...they'd have to start playing football to at least have a shot.

I can't believe we sailed away from Europe during some of the best games of the Copa Mundial!! I watched Argentina beat the Ivory Coast on podcast...the only station that transmitted a readable signal was an American station, but it was an American Spanish network called Telemundo. That announcer can hold his breath for an extraordinary amount of time when saying,

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"

I guess in such a low scoring game as football is, you want to savour every shot on net. The other day, I watched Beckham bend it like himself and score the only goal off Paraguay...well, actually the Paraguayan captain scored it on himself. OOPS!!

It's amazing how little anyone else on this boat cares about the World Cup.

In other news, I continue to suck at wakeboarding, but our footage has been lost because I accidentally broke Chau's camera and we can't find the only part needed to fix it. It couldn't possibly be tucked into the corner of my mattress, where I hide everything else. Nooooooooo.