I'm shadowing the Coast Guard this week

I just spent the day collecting lost people from off the Pacific Coast. I gotta say, the Coast Guard is really patient!!

This one fisherman followed his sonar fish finder instead of his GPS and ended up basically backwards from where he thought he was. Then his sparkplug went out...I don't know how that happens to people...anyway, he called in the Coast Guard and they bitchingly came to help him. Here's a hint, watery people, they really REALLY don't like stopping what they're doing and helping drunken fishermen home. Oh yeah, he polished off half a bottle of Patron...I was a little peeved at that because a sloppy move like that earns you maybe some Cuervo Gold.

Probably even dumber than that, though, was when we got back and my roommate for the night was engrossed in Taradise...that new show that features Tara Reed making a complete ass out of herself...last week she got whacked in the face by a tree while riding the double decker bus in London...okay, Tara, trees are inanimate, so that means when approaching one, you must duck. This is the case of a pretty girl who unfortunately operates soully on the medula.

But back to the day of stupid fishermen...this one family rented a speedboat...and loaded about 7 adults into it, then tried to punch it...it was a ball of smoke when we got there. I wanted to push the family overboard and confiscate their boat to put to better use in the lake back home...rental speedboats should not be taken into the ocean.

Back to Tara Reed...Is she trying to be like Paris Hilton? Because that's really depressing. The two of them remind me of this bull fight I went to in Spain a while ago...you could tell the whole time that the bull was drugged and had no chance at actually endangering the matador...it just ran at the pretty red thing, then fell down...kinda like Tara Reed on a double decker London bus.

Okaybye.